Two years left... and issues.

It is april of my sophmore year. Great right? I'm almost done with High School, great... right? Well I don't know anymore. I used to think I'm going to end up at a High School with every one that used to hate me. I also used to think i wouldnt make it to my 15th birthday and that i would've commited suicide by now.... But...
Im now at a school with no one from my elem/middle school. Im almost a Junior and i cant wait to find out whats gonna happen. Im.. some what.. utterly happy.

I don't have a boyfriend. For once in my life i don't plan to have one... Unless its the one ive been going on about lately. For reasons no one would understand because if i said i'd probably get the "You're too young to know what that is" lecture, and right now i don't want to fucking hear it...

Im in a emotional strut because MOST of my friends have gotten nothing better to say than to gawk over their recently new bf or gf and how "great" its been with them. Or how they hold hands, and kiss (or make out) or cuddle right in front of me. And how they just never wanna lose that person. I right now just want to strangle them and bash their head against the wall or floor and say, "I care that you're happy. I do. But im not in this situation. Im miserable. I DID lose the person i didnt want to lose. SO PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FIND A NEW TOPIC TO GAWK OVER!!!"
Thats what i would like to do.
But i don't.
Because im just too nice to my friends to ruin their happy-ness.

Anyway. Junior in four months. God, four months. Then I'll have only a year to go. A year. Prom next year, Road trip, weather my dad allows it or not. So much more.

Sigh, i wish my mum was here. She'd be able to help me with the issues i have right now. She would normally be the one to tell me, "Honey. Just be patient, things will eventually work out. If you two like each other as much as you say you do, he'll come back. He really likes you, well if he really does then he'll come back to you. Just hold, in there and don't let it get to you." then she'd give me the biggest hug she can manage.
She would, but she can't. And i can't handle my issues right now...

Sigh. Ive become unbearably sad right now... So ima go play Sims3

**Star**