RANDOM

*WARNING* not my normal type of blog *WARNING*

So lately, and i don't know why, I have been very irritated and pissed off.
Again i don't know why.
I just really want to go and fucking kick in a wall and make a huge ass hole.
Also i'm having a depression moment so i have to resist being in my room for long periods of time... Because basically i've sunken low on depression moments and when i'm in my room it's a death trap... Because i have candles. 6 lighters. Razors. sharp objects. Rope (don't ask). hairspray (put one of my other objects with it and you'll get the picture i have). And the list goes on.

Then theres my reason of my boyfriend saying "i love you" twenty time in a day... *its only been a week with him*
I have guys Who only like me because one of my ex-boyfriends told them stuff and BAM! He sends me a request and now we talk.. Only problem with why i CANT be mad at the guy.... HES FREAKING HOT! ....

Also theres it's summer. I have a boyfriend. Who, in which, i wont see as often as i'd like. And he expects me to be with him.. I'm trying... thats all i can say... :/

GRR!... I am now so sad, i feel like crying and I Don't Know Why!!!!

I'm in an artsy drawing mood now...


OK right now i am rambling because i haven't had a blog post all week due to me having finals this week and my last day was Thursday on the 20th. My birthday is next Tuesday the 25th. I'm having a get together on the 25th of June. My dad said for my birthday "present" he's going to let me get my lip pierced :D then (view pictures below)
Do i look better with short or long bangs?


OR



Ok because i really am rambling on SOOOOO yeah gonna go
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star:)

Updates!

Those of you who hav me added on Facebook know a lot about whats already been going on in school and with my life.. Here's the actual update for others and all of you who DON'T know the full story....
This week...
Monday May 10th
This day I think I was planned on breaking up with Cody because of what Xavier had talked to me about... complicated story (will be told later in this blog)

Tuesday May 11th
If not on Monday then today was the day I had planned to break up with Cody. Though instead Cody broek up with me. For a chick he hasn't seen since he was little.... Name? Oh easy Llani... Oh yeha I'm mad/jelous... Who wouldn't be????? He broke up with me for someone ELSE!! I was breaking up with him because of what Xavier told me.

Wednsday May 12th
I told every one and i told most that I just want to stay single until the end of the school year. Or at least in my mind it was until Thursday May 20th at 2:51pm. Im being specific because I mean the school year and the school year gets out on Thursday May 20th 2:50pm so anytime after that it's summer :)
Dory kept telling me that it was stupid, but I didn't care what she said at the time...
That night Tom had asked me if he had a chance with me anytime after Thursday. I kept saying yeah he does. Though there was a chance me and him wouldn't date through summer and all that.... THen Later i Tell My (awsome of all awsome) friend Tasha that no matter what I was going to say yes to going out with Tom anyway.

Thursday May 13th
The day went by fast to me...This day Tom asked me again if he had a chance with me or (I can't remeber what he said) if it's helping him to get a better chance of me saying yes to him next thursday. So finially I just had told him that he doesn't need any help that I was going to say yes any way. I think that made his day :D

Friday may 14th
Day went by great and all that. After school i had plans to go over to Tom's house then to his friends house Alex. Yeah the daty was planned perfectly, just me and 2 friends hanging out or atleastly me and a slight bf and a friends, haha. Hung out after school as normal and Deidra ended up annoying me into stop waiting till the 20th and so me and Tom started dateing. We ended up going straight to Alex's in stead to Toms then Alex's... Yeah it was nice I met:
Toms mom, dad, little brother Pat.
Alex's Grandma, Grandma, Grandpa, Grandpa, Mom, and i think 2 brothers.
When we got there i found out that it was Alex's brother's Birthday.
THough we spent most of it down at the lake that is being dried up because of mud. After falling into the water once we went back up the block to Alex's and i changed into a pair of his shorts and a t-shirt. then i left my shoes there at the house and we went back. I didnt really want to get muddy at first for the first 30 minutes so yeah i walked next to Tom and we held hands most the way haha :)
Then for the last 20 min i got into the water with alex and we walked the rest of the way in the water to the bridge. Well em and Alex did anyway. Tom stayed above us on dry land :)
When we got to this small bank about a little bit away fromt he bridge i stopped and squated like i was a child and awwed at the rocks in the clear water. I fountd an arrow head :D
We got to the bridge and sat down a awhile. (oh before we even got to the lake the second time me and tom kissed :D) I sun bathed i HOPE i got a slight tan ;)
I Ended up accedentaly breaking my arrow head before we got back to the house for dinner, in which i didnt eat, but yet only had desert o.o
After that we had just sat and talked.

Today, Saturday may 15th
Woke up got dressed, did my hair went to my brothers Graduation Party.. He watched the movie/video i made liek the whoel party :) it made me happy that he liked it that much :)
Now im at my Aunts Blogging well i shoudl be baby sitting but its 2am and they are asleep. so yeah :D
Talking to Tom and Tasha :)

About Tom:
I'm not going to say one thing about him.... because i know he possibly thinks it's embarrasing so lets just skip that part :)
Tom respects girls and doesnt care much of sex. yes we're teens and when im at school and when he is too we joke a lot. and tom KNOWS it's joking around :)
Oh, and don't get me wrong im not saying that other boyfriends havn't been as sweet and kind liek TOm be cause some have. TOm isnt one that stnds out he is put into a group no lie... But thats not all too bad. Tom is a once in a life time guy to meet and hook up with. I feel like tom is going to be one of those boys that are lucky and can last longer than a month....

Ok so im rambling on and on because i seriously am crashing slightly while im on the computer haha :D

So good night people for tonight. anyway (or this morning hahaha xD)
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)

Growing up

As the year (school) comes to an end, my Freshman year goes by in a blink. New friends have been made and a lot of hard and confusing decisions have been made.
Growing up was the hardest. I've learned a lot from myself. Reality really has done me some good too.
In school growing up is a big part of high school. Especially if you want to pass. You have to put juvenile decisions aside and grow up. Adults, teachers, and friends expect a lot from you.
Adults expect you to get into school grow up and be successful and be happy. They want you to grow up and get a college degree because they want you to be one of those children that grow up and the next thing they know they're turning on the TV and BAMM! There you are.
Teachers they want you to grow up because, well for one they aren't like our middle school teachers. They don't live to serve us. They live to teach us. They aren't our baby sitters. They aren't meant to stand there and hold our hand through out the course of high school. Their job is to teach us what they're supposed to teach us, and answer questions when needed. Again they aren't there to baby sit us, of course some teachers will be like that when your a Freshman, but it's still not full blown like that they are still stricter than middle school and they aren't afraid to say no to you. The students may have ruled the school in elementary school and middle school, but the staff rule in high school.
Finally there are your friends, new or not they still expect at least something from you. But that i can't tell you what they want. It depends what your friends are like.

basically I'm saying is that life is throwing us a warning, to us Freshman and will be for you Sophomores and Juniors. Seniors if that warning hasn't sunken in yet then maybe your just not cut for life yet. Because we are almost to the real world and if you think it's hard right now, wait until you're out of this MINOR prison you're in now. Because thats when life gives you real slaps to the face.

Thats all for tonight.
Your Wacky Writer,
Star :)