Some Book Summaries and Jvs.T

Some books this summer i dont know if i told you the summaries of them yet. Like i promised i'd start doing EACH book i finished?
First book; Shiva's Fire. I knwo i have that one alreayd done.
Second Book; Gamer girl...

Its about this girl whos parents split up. She and her little sister move to her grandmas house with her mom. She is taken out of her private school in the middle of the year and relocated to (in her terms) the middle of no-where. On her first day of school her grandma make sher wear a oversized unicorn shirt and mom pants (EMBARRASSING!!!!!) She becomes the cool posses's pick on chick. Only one person fromt hat crew sticks out from the stuck up wanna be Angela Jolene and Brad Pitt wannabes. A few weeks later she turns 16 and she gets this game from her dad called Worlds of Fantasy. (kinda like our World of War Craft? But [unfortunetly] the game named in the book doesnt exsist |yes being the nerd i am i looked it up|) Well any way she goes and sets it up online and her father meets her on the online world. he leads off and she tries to exit the town. THough because of her low rank she ends up being killed by wolves over and over. To her suprize a online user helps her and she is saved. She levels up and soon she treads over those wolves. Back to reality she was still being picked on by the wannabe crew. When the leader (forgot his name) is really mad at her and decides to ruin her painting she punches himand whole serving the detention the boy thats stands out, Chad, (of cours eid remember the lover guys name xD he comes out so sexy in my mind) decides to pay her a visit and gives her a contest information form. For a manga book contest. You draw your own manga and present it to REAL (idk if for real outside book) manga novelists. As she starts saying thank you to chad (btw her name is Maddie xD sorry for the late notice on her name) he gets yanked away by one of the prissy chicks of the posse. Late rinto the book she forms a Manga club and to her surprize it turns out there are a lot of people who read Manga like her. She makes new friends this way she even gets to show them how she draws. Well more like teach them. As for her fantasy world online game she learns a lot about this mysterious guy shes been playing online with. They soon learn they're form the same town and same time zone. (well duh! xD) Actually she learns that they are but she doesnt tell him that shes formt eh same town and that they go tto the same school. Soon she make sher book... The guys chick posse ruins it... Chads friend, the douche bag dude, tears her to peices when she finally gets the urge to tell chad (the mysterious guy online) that she knows its him and that shes Maddie. the douche pretends to be Chad on the online fantasy game and when she reveals herself he decides to make it seem like Chad would Never date her. Though one they ruin her comic and Chad comes to his fair maidens rescue at the contest. When the doors open and she turns and see's Chad and after he yells her name she takes a run for it. He runs after her. She is blocked by a dead end and he catches up to her and her, still not knowing it wasnt Chad who she had talked to, she yells at him and he explains things. She looked confused but then realized he was apologizing upon his "friends" behalf and presents the new comic that the manga club had fixed for her to enter. When she had entered into the room infront of the judges, well AFTER the kiss her and chad shared ;], she was the winner of it. and they went out and celebrated... (Yes i know there are a lot of details missing SORRY! xD)

I was going to do a Segment on the two guys i liked but one of them had decided to just stay my friend and go on to dateing the other chick... Though i expected this why am i still shocked? Why am i still slightly sad that he didnt chose me? UGH! can we make an AA meeting for girls whoa re addicted to bf's? Caus emy little therapy segment sim doing to myself are killing me formt he inside....
Oh and the other guy... he... well... he doesnt knwo i liek him... Well he probably does but i knwo he doesnt like me... Well liek how i would liek him to...

So thats if for this blog post im stop before i ramble ://

Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)

Me.. Im... (RARE MOMENT!!!) Beautiful ????? O.o

Looking at the picture above i've been stareinng at it. I've came to a realization... I look happy. Not a covered up happy but a real happy. My other pictures im either hideing a emotional effection. Or a saddness that is hard to spare. I have a great smile and i love that i look good. I look fabulous to be truthfull. I'm seeing progress. I'm still the same me.. but a lesser me that hate smy self and wishes that i looked leik this or that... I've drawn myself so many differant ways before. Ive had dreams where it'd be me but i would look nothing liek me.
I have beautiful eyes that light up when im happy. A Pretty smile that looks flawless to me when i smile. A face, thats not perfect but is gorgeous when i look at myself. i dont knwo what else to say but... I'm beicommong more self confidence. Im comfortable with how i look. my looks arnt everything but i dont think its emotionally healthy when all i worry about it my looks.

Ill write to you all later.

Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)

Pretty Little Liars- Ep. 10 Keep Your Friends Close

First it started off great amazing and god do they know how to make it even more dramatic!!!!
God first they have Hannahs mom feeling bad and giving Hannah a 100 dollar bill. And then she robs one of her clients!!!!!
Then Ezera sees Aria talking to Noel and whoa does she get into sdeep shit later when she ends up talking about the poem Ezera wrote about Aria. Noel Catches them talkign and, Owo well i think he knows something is up ._. UH OH!!!
Then Mona the new richy bitch/shop lifter invites all the girls to her birthday party. "Camp Mona" -_-''' Snobby much? xD
Well the FBI comes to town and they show a tape to the girls OH MY LORD!!!!! THey think Toby did it!? UGH! NOOOOO!!!! Emily arrives at the "Camp Mona" and Toby pops up in her back seat and tells her the real story and how hes innocent... IM ALL FOR TEAM TOBY!!!!!
Turns out Toby was just loaning Alison his sweater and then she got into a car with a older boy... an Older boy that turns out to be Mellissa's Ex... >-< God this is so Dramatic!!!
Toby leaves, Emily Tells. (stupid bitch!) Her friends dont believe he's telling the truth! Dx Toby's arrested D; Stupid bitch! Toby was innocent!!!!
Then they find clues as to who the mysterious 'A' is... Oh, Hannah and Mona end up breaking off as friends... xD hahahaha!!! So Hannah is steaking out to find who A is too.
In the mean time she catches Ezera... Erm... Mr. Fitz to her, and Aria together and making out ^o^ too bad this could end badly.. She also see's A...
OH SHIT! Int he end.. Toby gets Arrested for something he didnt do. and Hannah is ran over... and possibly dies... o...O so dramatic.. I cant wait for tomarrows episode!!!


Welll all for now
Your Wacky Little Liar,
Star :)

Don't go... I still need you... Mom?

In 2007 in June/July my mom was dignosed with lung cancer. It started out as just "sympathy pains" from my uncle also being dignosed. Well so we thought. My uncle died of it before he went into surgury. That was the first time i ever cried at a funeral. My brother, Josh, was at an Army Basic Training camp that summer. My dad had broke the news to us the day my brother came back from the camp due to a medical reason.
My dad told us that we caught it "early" i guess. Though, i was shocked i didnt know what to do. My brothers we're crying my sister was possibly doing the same. I just stared at the floor. After that we kinda just fell back into the normal routine of the day. My mom had went into surgury and they removed her whole lung. She went through chemo therapy and radiation. We thought it was over that she was done. Nothing to worry about right? Wrong, somethign infectious had gotten into her back. She went under surgury again. This time to flush out the infection. A tube going through her back, and one through her chest? I think..
Seventh grade, was rough, and not just because of family matters... -_-''... My mom kept smokeing. My dad had talked to her about it and she promised to quit. She never kept that promise. She would smoke when dad wasn't home. When he was home. When she left the house. She smoked when some one else was smoking. She still worked at Met life.

In 2008 round June/July again my mom was dignosed with cancer again. She under went surgury againa dn got rid of the cancer. Through out the year she had stopped going to work, she would sleep for days on end some times. She would miss work. One time it turned out she had some ribs broken too. They go in again and remove them. Sometimes when i was leaving for school i'd go out the side door to avoid seeing my mom laying in her chair asleep with her tubes so she would breathe.
When i'd get home i'd go straight to my room to do anything or get straight on the computer. Soemtimes i wouldn't come home for hours after school. And the second Friday would come i would ask to go to my best friends house. I hated being home. I hated knowing that slowly my mom was dieing.
I would find ways to get out of "bonding time" when it came to stuff like that. Though yet nothing really worked. My brothers had actual rooms to escape to, because they had tv's and cable, plus gameing systems. All i had was our somputer and friends houses.
In December on the 23rd. Me and my mom had a huge fight. She needed help tieing her shoes so i sat on the floor and i had little to no room so i sat back and i pushed the table back and it SLIGHTLY hit the tv and she freaked. So i sorta rolled my eyes and pulled the table back. She freaked out even more and started yelling and throwing things at me. She had a total freak out she threw her shoes at me and a few phone books then she flipped the whole coffe table. She yelled at me and saying that i hadn't ever helped her and i never do. When in fact i was basically the ONLY one helping her i was trying to keep my cool and not yell back but that over pushed it, i can take her throwing very hard things at me but telling me that i never helped her. That was over board. I had cussed at my mom for the first time ever. I Said exactly, "I don't ever help you? Really!? I am practically the only one who helpes you. Ive done nothing but fucking help you for the past two weeks!" after i said that i grabbed my shoes jammed them on my feet grabbed my phone and walked out the door. She was stil screaming when i left. I had no where to go so in the dead middle of winter i had walked the odd some miles to Kayla's house. I arrived on time to find them leaving i was in tears when i was explaining to kayla what happened.
My brother called me and yelled at me and i just hung up on him. Then my dad did the same except he didnt yell at me he just asked what happened. When i told him he gave me a lecture. So i hung up. I under stand that my mom is under stress, but what the hell about me? I was th eone taking care of her! My dad once he came home i d get barely an hour off. Because he'd eat then go straight to bed because he'd have to be at work again in a few hours. My brothers would go straight to their room and escape helping her. I got introuble a lot in school too.

Freshman year (2009-2010) started out great. I was starting High School. My mom seemed fine... Lifes supposed to get better for me right? I mean im out of middle school i go to a school where no one from middle school can make my life a living hell any more. Well wrong, the only boyfriend that seemed care the most (first) i treated like shit. Even worse after december.
Well in christmas me and my brother, Brandon, wen to a christmas party. And no one was really home. We got stuck a few times and finally arrived. We were having fun, then around 6 my mom had called my brother and asked when we were comming home, we were just leaving. "Why? Are you okay?" he had asked. he just had said "fine ok" when she replied and we left. He didn't tell me anything, until we were right awayon an easy road home. "She said she wasn't fine." he said an di just stared out the window it was quiet the whole way home. It was dark by the time we got home. We got home and went inside. My dad had explained the situation and i didnt talk i went to the kitchen sat down looked at the floor and jumped up right away when the ambulance came. My dad was goign to follow the ambulance the the hospital. Around midnight my brother came pounding on my door telling me to get dressed an ready our aunt is on our way to take us to the hospital. When we get there, my other brother, his fiancee, and others were there. i was there all night didnt go to bed until 5am.
A couple days later my dad had a talk with me, my brothers and sister about how my mom is on a chance of being on life suipport and we all agreed that she wouldn't like to be in the hospital relying on tubes inside her stay alive. And the fact of how long will it last until barely no one is showing up to see her? So we decided that we would just pull the plug if it came to that point. The next day the doctor had a talk with the family. She was basically on life support. My dad had spoke for us and told us that we had chose to pull it. At first we was going to wait the week to pull it on her birthday but after that day it was hard. We realized we would do it early in the morning. It took me almost a half hour to say I love you to my mom.
That night i went to my friend kaylas. I had hugged her mom and dad and started crying. I fell asleep on the couch. I stated to cry in my sleep and woke up when i started crying and screaming. I kept screaming "i want my mommy" and "Mom" I made Becky cry and Kayla cry i dont knwo about eveyr one else but i do know that i wasnt really left a lone and it took awhile for me to actually fall asleep. Kayla knew when i was about to cry because i guess i started twitching...
The first day back to school i didnt go back because i had to go to my moms funeral. Preston came... i was happy.. But inside it hurt. Really bad.
I didn't keep hold of that relationship with him. I couldnt handle the loss of my mom and a realtionship. I'd probably still be with him if he would have kept fighting for me even when i was going through this. If only he knew what it feels liek to lose his mom at age 14. Not even barely starting High school and i lose my mom.

I know its been 8months since she died. Though it's a hard subject still. My mom listened to me when i talked and didnt really give lectures she'd give me great advice when it came to hard times. I went to her for a lot. loseing my mom was the hardest thing ive ever had to deal with.



10-11 -- 10th (first real year with out my mom)
09-10 -- 9th (Death)
08-09 -- 8th (Second dignose)
07-08 -- 7th (First dignose)

"..And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back.."

Summary of shiva's Fire

Shiva’s Fire is a book on a girl named Parvati who was born on the day of the Maharaja’s birthday. Following that day the first cyclone ever seen in her home town of Nandipuram, many adults and children had died following that day and the days to come.
Shiva is the Hindu god of destruction and re-creation, also known as the lord of dance. Parvati was born with the gift of dance. Even in the womb she had always thumped her mothers’ sides in a slow rhythm like music.
Her parents, Meenakshi and Sundar, were farmers like the rest of the town. Meeakshi is a woman who worked in the fields and cooked for her family. She was loved by her neighbors before Parvati was born. When she was born the Yuvaraja, the son and heir to the Raja, was born also. Later in the day a cyclone had started and an illness had fallen over the town. Meenakshi and Parvati were blamed for it all. Sundar was a royal elephant keeper. He took care of the elephant, which always carries the Raja and Yuvaraja. On the birthday of the Maharaja and the birth of his daughter and the first cyclone, one of the elephants started freaking out during the cyclone. In attempt to calm it, Sundar, got caught in a stampede.
Meenakshi’s brother in law, Sathya, offers them a home with his wife, whom they call Auntie, and their children. She too had just given birth that week. When Auntie had taken Parvati into her arms with one deep look into each others eyes, Auntie could only say “Oh!” and with that she blamed Parvati for the cyclone.
Monsoons later Parvati grows up helping her mom. All the adults believe also that Parvati was to blame of the cyclone and the loss of many. She had monkeys as friends and when she was just a toddler she’d get up and raise her leg to stand on one foot. She would be teased by all the children when she would fall and just get back up and try again.
When Parvati believes she can dance like the lord Shiva, she decides to wait till her mother and the other moms leave the fire pit and she jumps in, and music raise and she’s engulfed into music and dance. When her mother pulled he rout and checked her she didn’t come out with any markings. Her mother makes her to never dance again and just live a life of a normal child. Well Parvati does, though sooner or later words gets around and a dance guru named, Guru Pazhayanur Muthu Kumara Pillai. He wanted Parvati to become a devadasi, a servant of the gods. Of course Parvati ends up leaving to Madras to live in the gurukalam.
While she’s there Parvati learns to exercise her dance moves, read. Write, and speak in Tamil, and meditate. She gains a Friend named Nalini, but Nalini doesn’t want the life of a devadasi. She ends up meeting a man in the bazaar and he turns out to be a bandit that robs from the rich to give to the poor. She runs away with him and leaves Parvati alone. She lives in the gurukalam for the next year and when it comes to the showcase she is awarded a full sari and is to be taught how to dance. Soon it’s close to the Maharajas birthday and asked the Guru for their best dancer. When Parvati is picked to go there she visits her family for a week then meets the Yuvaraja. At first she is scared to secretly meet him. Then she starts to fall for him. She learns that he wants to study to be a doctor instead of inheriting a farm land. He, too, had fallen for her and asked her to run away with him to America. In the end he tells her to dance like the Lord Shiva. She does just that at the festival for the birthday of the Maharaja. And as she dances a voice comes to her and says, “This is it. You are the magic of possibilities.” And she knew it was the voice of Lord Shiva.

Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)