So to this day September 30th 2010 its been exactly 9 months since my mom passed away.. :// Thats all i have on that subject,
Inspired by my friend Tashi's blog on child hood i decided to steal her topic :P sorry hon!
So any way she listed the things she missed as a kid... Well im going to do the same...
When you were a child i remember how boys had cooties instead of your heart. I remember how when the biggest drama was when some one stole your crayon or your blankie or dolly or pillow.
Remember how you used to laugh so hard you would turn a bright red? Or how shy you used to be before you broke that?
I miss how the only time i had to wak up before 10am was to get ready for something fun. I miss summer being way too long to me. How they used to be so boring... But yet so fun.
I miss how saying your sorry was always the way to make up for something you did.
I miss how when you whined about some things you would get what you wanted.
I miss wanting to do nothign but being out in the rain when it rained.
I miss watching little kids shows.
I miss saturday mornings.
I miss sneaking a R-rated movie into the VCR when my parents weren't home.
I miss staying up all night after my parents had told me to go to sleep.
I miss having my 1st best friend the old her... Not the her she is today.
I miss sinign the never ending song ont he feild trip bus.
I miss feild trips.
I miss the clubs that only you and your friends were allowed in.
I miss the fights me and my sinlings had.
I miss those days in school where there wasnt a rumor being spread every day.
I miss where the only time you were whispering a secret it stayed between the two.
I miss how i got more than 3 presents on Christmas day.
I miss making valentines for eveyr one in my class.
I miss waiting for the easter bunny to coem and hide eggs around the house.
I miss getting more than a hand full of candy on Halloween.
I miss pinching the people who didnt wear green on St. Patricks day.
I miss trying to stay up late for New Years Eve/Day.
I miss singing songs that were age appropriate.
I miss the shows on Cartoon Network that i knew every word to the theme song.
I miss reading books with pictures.
I miss the only homework we had to do was read a book for the night.
I guess most of all i miss being a child.
Thats it for now,
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
30.9.10
29.9.10
Homecomming. A cook out. And Coffee?
Homcomming. Next Saturday the 9th... To freshman its the biggest dance of their life; for sophmores like me and for juniors and seniors its just a dance to escape from home to hang out with friends from 8pm-11pm...
Freshman hang in their small groups and Sophmores-seniors spread through out. We dance have fun... And we enjoy this while there is no food and drinks table. We get sweaty and worked up! Life is so much fun right? :D
Maybe. Homecomming is the only dance you can go to if your:
1. a Freshman or a Sophmore
2. Not in JROTC
and
3. Not a Junior or a Senior.
If your a freshman or a sophmore Homecoming is the only dance you can go to.
If your in JROTC then you can go to Homecoming and!! The Military Formal (winter formal) but you need a date for that.
And if your a Junior or Senior then you can do Homecoming and Prom.
And you can do all three if your a Junior/Senior and in JROTC.
Cook out. Why! WHY NOW!? D: Finially i get to go to my dads friends house... And its on the night of homecomming!
They are my dads friends but they have horses and an awesomely HAWT son... Who possibly has a girlfriend but its fun to talk to him cause he likes to play video games and he is freakishly tall which makes him look older but hes not... hes my age :)
So i dont know what to choose. 'Cause i already have my homecoming dress. and i already told most every one that im going to homecoming. But i also want to go to the cook out because of the horses and i really have been waiting for a while to go to their farm. Not to mention their son.
And i dont think i can go to one with out feelings guilty about not going to the other. I might miss something. and i cant have that... :/
AND last of all
COFFEE!? Me i am drinking coffee. My momw as a coffee freaka nd i might become a coffe freak as well! Cause i am on my 3rd cup of coffee this day ! :D ok i know thats bad because i might not get to sleep for a while and onc ei crash i might be out like a light bulb xD
SO yes my fellow readers i am saying i am possibly becoming a caffeine addict xD
But thats all for now,
Your Wacky and Caffeine High Little Writer,
Star 8D
Ps. I think i might just so a pros and Cons list for the cook out and Homecoming :D xD
Freshman hang in their small groups and Sophmores-seniors spread through out. We dance have fun... And we enjoy this while there is no food and drinks table. We get sweaty and worked up! Life is so much fun right? :D
Maybe. Homecomming is the only dance you can go to if your:
1. a Freshman or a Sophmore
2. Not in JROTC
and
3. Not a Junior or a Senior.
If your a freshman or a sophmore Homecoming is the only dance you can go to.
If your in JROTC then you can go to Homecoming and!! The Military Formal (winter formal) but you need a date for that.
And if your a Junior or Senior then you can do Homecoming and Prom.
And you can do all three if your a Junior/Senior and in JROTC.
Cook out. Why! WHY NOW!? D: Finially i get to go to my dads friends house... And its on the night of homecomming!
They are my dads friends but they have horses and an awesomely HAWT son... Who possibly has a girlfriend but its fun to talk to him cause he likes to play video games and he is freakishly tall which makes him look older but hes not... hes my age :)
So i dont know what to choose. 'Cause i already have my homecoming dress. and i already told most every one that im going to homecoming. But i also want to go to the cook out because of the horses and i really have been waiting for a while to go to their farm. Not to mention their son.
And i dont think i can go to one with out feelings guilty about not going to the other. I might miss something. and i cant have that... :/
AND last of all
COFFEE!? Me i am drinking coffee. My momw as a coffee freaka nd i might become a coffe freak as well! Cause i am on my 3rd cup of coffee this day ! :D ok i know thats bad because i might not get to sleep for a while and onc ei crash i might be out like a light bulb xD
SO yes my fellow readers i am saying i am possibly becoming a caffeine addict xD
But thats all for now,
Your Wacky and Caffeine High Little Writer,
Star 8D
Ps. I think i might just so a pros and Cons list for the cook out and Homecoming :D xD
26.9.10
If you really knew me...
If you really knew me you'd know that i write these blogs to tell unknown readers things that i don't have the guts to tell other people. You'll also find that the confidence that i say i now "all the sudden" have isn't real. You'll find that i like people that i will like for a while, and that my self esteem isn't as high as i make it to be.
Being bullied all through elementary/grade school and loseing my mom last year. I look to people to make myself happy. If you really knew me you'd know everything. If you really knew me i'd tell you everything.
If you really knew me, You'd know i don't even know myself. I don't like how i look and i don't think i'm as skinny as most think i am. I get shy around new people and i cry sometimes about how i can't be with some one. I feel useless in most situations and i feel like im loseing everyone....
If you really knew me... Well thats the thing... You don't really know me... So whats the use in telling me things that arn't true about me. Or bullying me about things you've heard from others? If you truly tried to get to know me you'd know that most people just talk about me because they don't like me.
If you really knew me...
"if you really knew me you would know im not the person i seem to be, if you really knew me you would know that im not trusting of guys because of what i have been through growing up. If you really knew me you would know i'm in sports to stay out of trouble. if you really knew me you would know im not self confident like... I appear to be, i let the littlest things get to me. if you really knew me you would know i don't like talking to people. if you really knew me you would know that i dont say things just for the heck of it i mean what i say." -Courtney Lang-
If you really knew me you would know its hard for me to talk to new people.
"If you really knew me, you would understand why I do the things I do, how I learned to keep living after my mom passed away." -Matt-
If you really knew me you'd know im lifeless whne im alone.
"If you really knew me, youd know i think suacidle thoughts everyday, i am scared to be in relationships, im addicted to love, i feal like i need someone to tell me they love me everyday, i HATE who ive become, i only act like and dress like i do to get friends, not even my best friends know the true me because im to scared to tell them, i get judged by everyone before they even know me because im fat." -Lissa Renee Folland-
If you really knew me you'd know im addicted to haveing a boyfriend because i want to feel loved.
"If you really knew me, you'd know I'm not as mean as I appear to be; that I act the way I do to keep from being hurt and picked on by close-minded classmates." -Jessie Godsey-
If you really knew me i only act the way i do because im tired of being picked on.
"If you really knew me, you'd know I'm not as cocky or as confident as I portray myself to be. I'm the same insecure, scared little kid I have been since my parents divorced when I was 10. You'd know that I feel out of the 5 best friends I've really had in my life, are slowly slipping away. One's in Japan in the Navy, One I haven't talked to
since I moved across town when I was about 9, One's been avoiding me and the other two for about 2 months now, One of those final two is going into the Marines next year, and the last one will still be here after I try and move to college across the US by this time next year. You'd know that the only girl I truly think I fell in love with, I've lost due to her immaturity and the fact that she became scared of how close we became,
and I don't think I'll ever get her back. You'd know that I bottle up all my emotions until my breaking point, and I have trouble trusting myself to people. You'd know that I want to succeed so bad in life and be loved, I'd give anything to have it, after how hard and troublesome my childhood was. All my bonds and everything I knew in life is unraveling before my eyes in these next few years, and I'm scared to face it. I don't know how I'll come out of it. And lastly, you'd know that I act how I do, I dress the way I do, and hide like I do, because music and videogames are the only things that have helped me escape in my childhood and they're the only ways I know how to escape now. I am how I am because they're some of the only places I feel I fit in where people know my pain, sadness, ups and downs, and emotions through music and stories that many others don't understand until they've gone through it themselves." -Pat Olson-
If you really knew me you'd know that almost everyone close to me is slowly slipping away, that my emotions are never truly shown, ive lost everyguy that ive ever thought i've loved.
"If you really knew me.... then you'd know how much I hate my body. How insecure I feel when someone says I'm short. How horrible I feel when I see the bulges that appear under my shirt. You'd know that I love my girlfriend, and that I love almost everyone who is nice too me, and that hateful or negative words from others, playful or otherwise, pain me more than I can admit." -Julianna Carmouche-
If you really knew me you'd know that i suffer from a deep depression every day and that the smile i put on everyday isn't real. Or the fact that i've only had one or two real friends in my life. Or that new friends make me overly happy and too trusting. You'll know things that people say to me the small things really matter.
If you really knew me then you'll know that saying hi to me makes my day. If you really knew me then you'd know that calling me "pretty" or "beautiful" makes my self esteem higher, not by much, but its still higher. If you REALLY knew me you'd know that my heart has been broken so many times that i pain easily and i hide it just as easy...
So if you really knew me... You'd know that these things im going through im not alone. There are other people going through the same. They have a low self esteem, they have trusting issues. They've loved and lost. They've lost. They don't have as many friends or their loseing them.
I'm not alone... There are a lot like me... So next time you chose to bully me just remember... Theres more of us then there are of you... Chose who you pick on... One of these days we will snap and who knows what could happen...
If you really knew me you'd know my name isn't Star... Its Sara and im scared to admit that.
Being bullied all through elementary/grade school and loseing my mom last year. I look to people to make myself happy. If you really knew me you'd know everything. If you really knew me i'd tell you everything.
If you really knew me, You'd know i don't even know myself. I don't like how i look and i don't think i'm as skinny as most think i am. I get shy around new people and i cry sometimes about how i can't be with some one. I feel useless in most situations and i feel like im loseing everyone....
If you really knew me... Well thats the thing... You don't really know me... So whats the use in telling me things that arn't true about me. Or bullying me about things you've heard from others? If you truly tried to get to know me you'd know that most people just talk about me because they don't like me.
If you really knew me...
"if you really knew me you would know im not the person i seem to be, if you really knew me you would know that im not trusting of guys because of what i have been through growing up. If you really knew me you would know i'm in sports to stay out of trouble. if you really knew me you would know im not self confident like... I appear to be, i let the littlest things get to me. if you really knew me you would know i don't like talking to people. if you really knew me you would know that i dont say things just for the heck of it i mean what i say." -Courtney Lang-
If you really knew me you would know its hard for me to talk to new people.
"If you really knew me, you would understand why I do the things I do, how I learned to keep living after my mom passed away." -Matt-
If you really knew me you'd know im lifeless whne im alone.
"If you really knew me, youd know i think suacidle thoughts everyday, i am scared to be in relationships, im addicted to love, i feal like i need someone to tell me they love me everyday, i HATE who ive become, i only act like and dress like i do to get friends, not even my best friends know the true me because im to scared to tell them, i get judged by everyone before they even know me because im fat." -Lissa Renee Folland-
If you really knew me you'd know im addicted to haveing a boyfriend because i want to feel loved.
"If you really knew me, you'd know I'm not as mean as I appear to be; that I act the way I do to keep from being hurt and picked on by close-minded classmates." -Jessie Godsey-
If you really knew me i only act the way i do because im tired of being picked on.
"If you really knew me, you'd know I'm not as cocky or as confident as I portray myself to be. I'm the same insecure, scared little kid I have been since my parents divorced when I was 10. You'd know that I feel out of the 5 best friends I've really had in my life, are slowly slipping away. One's in Japan in the Navy, One I haven't talked to
since I moved across town when I was about 9, One's been avoiding me and the other two for about 2 months now, One of those final two is going into the Marines next year, and the last one will still be here after I try and move to college across the US by this time next year. You'd know that the only girl I truly think I fell in love with, I've lost due to her immaturity and the fact that she became scared of how close we became,
and I don't think I'll ever get her back. You'd know that I bottle up all my emotions until my breaking point, and I have trouble trusting myself to people. You'd know that I want to succeed so bad in life and be loved, I'd give anything to have it, after how hard and troublesome my childhood was. All my bonds and everything I knew in life is unraveling before my eyes in these next few years, and I'm scared to face it. I don't know how I'll come out of it. And lastly, you'd know that I act how I do, I dress the way I do, and hide like I do, because music and videogames are the only things that have helped me escape in my childhood and they're the only ways I know how to escape now. I am how I am because they're some of the only places I feel I fit in where people know my pain, sadness, ups and downs, and emotions through music and stories that many others don't understand until they've gone through it themselves." -Pat Olson-
If you really knew me you'd know that almost everyone close to me is slowly slipping away, that my emotions are never truly shown, ive lost everyguy that ive ever thought i've loved.
"If you really knew me.... then you'd know how much I hate my body. How insecure I feel when someone says I'm short. How horrible I feel when I see the bulges that appear under my shirt. You'd know that I love my girlfriend, and that I love almost everyone who is nice too me, and that hateful or negative words from others, playful or otherwise, pain me more than I can admit." -Julianna Carmouche-
If you really knew me you'd know that i suffer from a deep depression every day and that the smile i put on everyday isn't real. Or the fact that i've only had one or two real friends in my life. Or that new friends make me overly happy and too trusting. You'll know things that people say to me the small things really matter.
If you really knew me then you'll know that saying hi to me makes my day. If you really knew me then you'd know that calling me "pretty" or "beautiful" makes my self esteem higher, not by much, but its still higher. If you REALLY knew me you'd know that my heart has been broken so many times that i pain easily and i hide it just as easy...
So if you really knew me... You'd know that these things im going through im not alone. There are other people going through the same. They have a low self esteem, they have trusting issues. They've loved and lost. They've lost. They don't have as many friends or their loseing them.
I'm not alone... There are a lot like me... So next time you chose to bully me just remember... Theres more of us then there are of you... Chose who you pick on... One of these days we will snap and who knows what could happen...
If you really knew me you'd know my name isn't Star... Its Sara and im scared to admit that.
Meeeeeeeooooooooozzzzzzzeeeekkk (music)
So lately because of the guy that i havn't managed to stop blogging about or stop thinking about or stop talkign about... hahaha Because of him my music variety has widen on the horizons.
I liek a lot of death metal, screamo... Erm... all that stuff. I havnt learned which song goes to what band yet but im learning it takes time. HAHA!!
Im interested in lately is whitechapel, behemoth(spell check), um, Abnormality... >w> im still working on getting other band names... But for now those are main...
Ive already liked hard rock/metal bands thanks to my friend Kyle. But the horizon just widened when i was with the guy i keep talking about...
I know you are rpobably wondering why i never say his name... Well until i know for a fact that he HAS seen or even attempted at reading one of the posts about him then i wont ever say his anme out loud xDD
haha any how!
Thats all for now.
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
I liek a lot of death metal, screamo... Erm... all that stuff. I havnt learned which song goes to what band yet but im learning it takes time. HAHA!!
Im interested in lately is whitechapel, behemoth(spell check), um, Abnormality... >w> im still working on getting other band names... But for now those are main...
Ive already liked hard rock/metal bands thanks to my friend Kyle. But the horizon just widened when i was with the guy i keep talking about...
I know you are rpobably wondering why i never say his name... Well until i know for a fact that he HAS seen or even attempted at reading one of the posts about him then i wont ever say his anme out loud xDD
haha any how!
Thats all for now.
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
Si seulement la vie pourrait me donner l'amour.
Si seulement la vie pourrait me donner l'amour. <--- Means "If only life could give me love."
My own quote... my own saying... Depressing i know.. But true non the less. im sad lately... Not that any one cares though, 'cause they all knwo the reason why...
I'm not sad over a guy... No... Im not. They may think that and even the guy they think im sa dover can think that but its not. Its the fact of hwo every one is.
Every one is getting some one... A date to a dance. A boyfriend, they have some one that they can go to crying and the first thing they say is "Whats wrong? Can i help? Everythings going to be fine."
Me? Yeah sure i have friends... But what use is that if all i get is a hug? and some low esteem advice?
I want a guy to go to to hold me tight.. let me knwo every thing is going to be alright. To kiss me on the lips, cheek, or forehead and to make the tears stop coming. Some one that i can text on a daily basis. Some one that will text ME first instea dof me doing that all the time. Some one that when i wake up they instantly knwo it so they call just to say "Good Morning Beautiful... How did you sleep?"
Some one that i can go to for anything. Some one who doesn't judge me for how i am.. Who i act like. Some one who doesn't critisize me... Some one who respects the fact that i wont always be open to hang out with them.
You see i found that one guy.. i did... :( only problem... He doesn't really want to be with me as so much as he wants to be with his ex. I realize this is what he wants and as long as im still his friend im fine.. Its just... I like when i could hold his hand, hug him for a long time knowing that hes mine, kiss him knowing its not cheating on any one!
I just want him to be mine... Ok fine i admitt maybe i am sad over the guy.. but its not what you think...
Im mostly sad that EVERY where i look theres some one with some one... Even the people i dont even like has some one... ://
Im like... ALONE!!!
Friends just dont make me fully happy any more...
well thats its for now..
Your SAD Little Writer,
Star :(
My own quote... my own saying... Depressing i know.. But true non the less. im sad lately... Not that any one cares though, 'cause they all knwo the reason why...
I'm not sad over a guy... No... Im not. They may think that and even the guy they think im sa dover can think that but its not. Its the fact of hwo every one is.
Every one is getting some one... A date to a dance. A boyfriend, they have some one that they can go to crying and the first thing they say is "Whats wrong? Can i help? Everythings going to be fine."
Me? Yeah sure i have friends... But what use is that if all i get is a hug? and some low esteem advice?
I want a guy to go to to hold me tight.. let me knwo every thing is going to be alright. To kiss me on the lips, cheek, or forehead and to make the tears stop coming. Some one that i can text on a daily basis. Some one that will text ME first instea dof me doing that all the time. Some one that when i wake up they instantly knwo it so they call just to say "Good Morning Beautiful... How did you sleep?"
Some one that i can go to for anything. Some one who doesn't judge me for how i am.. Who i act like. Some one who doesn't critisize me... Some one who respects the fact that i wont always be open to hang out with them.
You see i found that one guy.. i did... :( only problem... He doesn't really want to be with me as so much as he wants to be with his ex. I realize this is what he wants and as long as im still his friend im fine.. Its just... I like when i could hold his hand, hug him for a long time knowing that hes mine, kiss him knowing its not cheating on any one!
I just want him to be mine... Ok fine i admitt maybe i am sad over the guy.. but its not what you think...
Im mostly sad that EVERY where i look theres some one with some one... Even the people i dont even like has some one... ://
Im like... ALONE!!!
Friends just dont make me fully happy any more...
well thats its for now..
Your SAD Little Writer,
Star :(
24.9.10
A book on the Philiosophy of Love.
I had just finished the book "Cupid A Tale of Love and Desire" its a Story of how Cupid (not a baby, 'cause i know when any one and EVERYONE thinks of the God of Love as a cute little baby with wings and a bow and Arrows, but no this Cupid is a man, a VERY handsome man.) Falls in love with this mortal Psyche (Sigh-key) and how he learns to stand up to his mother Venus the godess of love. In the end they do live happily ever after and have a daughter. Thats to come to be known as Pleasure. Though im not going to stop there, 'cause whats the point in telling you how the story ends in a philosophy book when i never told you how the book happened?
Haha well i wont leave you hanging. Psyche was a beautiful girl. She was so beautiful that people even thought that SHE was the NEW Venus. Or even mistaked her as Venus. Cupid was a dumb-ass god who was not only immortal, but very handsome... Did i mention a mamas boy as well? Though he has a palace hidden through the trees in a mountain on earth he stayed at his moms and lets her treat him as though he'd never leave. 'Cause to most mothers, theres no girl on earth that will tend to their sons every waking need. :) Thus the reason why we have 40 year old virgins some times xD
Ok So back to whats happened. Psyche, because she was so beautiful every one would stop worshiping Venus and going to her temple that once Venus realized as to why no one came to her any more. She immeadiately started to hate Psyche. So infuriated she had sent Cupid to go and shoot one of his golden arrows into her and make her a fool and fall inlove with a tree or a wall. Though once he saw Psyche it was he who fell in love. Though being the god of love, he himself had never been in love. Though seeing many beautiful women before what had made Psyche so differant right? Well, who knows? All we know is that Cupid was in love and wanted Psyche all for him self. So he went to Apollo to have him tell Psyche's father that she would to be wed to him. Once Apollo hears that Cupid wants to marry Psyche he threatens Cupid he will tell his mother if he promises not to strike him with any of his arrows. Cupis had told him instead:
"I don't make deals like that. If you say a word to Venus, I will see to it that one of my arrows is in your heart until the end of eternity."
Ok to clear things up, non of the gods, goddesses or deities want an arrow gold nor lead from Cupid into them. So when Cupid threatens to do so with his arrows he will do so. Well Apollo does see to it, but twists the words around. When Psyches father comes back (i will mention now that Psyche and her family are royalty) and after a while and tells Psyche what Apollo had said he tells her that Apollo said that her fate was to marry a monster, Cupid had over heard this when he was outside of her room he almost went balistic, though stopped himself when he had realized that she was to still marry him and that Apollo had just twisted it in his own words. So he left to prepare every thing, behind his mothers back of course, but still went and prepared everything.
Though down on earth when the day came it was a sad sad day. No one wanted to know that Psyche was being married off to a monster. Cupid went and got things ready. Psyche started her long journey up the mountain to await her new husband. Once there she was in a meadow of grass and flowers. She had soon fallen asleep waiting for her husband. The next day as the sun sorrowly awoke and started to climb the sky. He none the less didn't liek the fact of Psyche marring a monster either and thought she was already dead. Though as he cmilbed the sky he saw Psyche asleep and he screamed her name and brightened up as bright as can be. Favonius, West wind had came on personal request for Cupid and had picked up Psyche from wherre she rested and had placed her ouside Cupids own personal palace gates. She was tended to by her every need by as she seemed it to be invisible servants. When inside she saw nothing, but a beautiful palace with rooms full of gold, jewels, fine silk gowns, and so on. She had wondered is her husband was truely a monster as Apollo as said, though Apollo was never to be known as a liar.
That day she has bathed roamed her new home and ate. That night she awaited her husband in bed.
When Cupid arrived she was asleep and the moon had given him much light to see her asleep. He was starting to have doubts, but seeing her face had changed that and all he wanted was her. And i think you guys should know what i mean by want. So he got into bed and the second she awoke the moon had right away been covered by clouds thanks to the other winds.
Im skipping farther into the story. Every day Cupid would leave before the crack of dawn so Psyche wouldn't see that she was married to him and Every day Psyche would wonder what/where her husband was. Then at night he'd return to her and... well... yeah ((xD))they'd talk until she'd pass out or until Cupid would leave. And every night she would ask why she wasn't allowed to see his face. Cupid was afraid she might not love him after she sees him. So he explained. Then one day his sisters come and visit though after Cupid warned her that they shouldnt. He kinda of, well, threatened her. By saying she was pregnate with his child and that if he so tells anythign about him he will be sure to it that her child will be born mortal. They come they ask questions she lies. They leave and plan a deveous plan. They come back and they trick her into looking at her husband. That night, though her sisters convinced her of the fact that her husband was a monster guised as a man. And that he was to kill her after she bore him a child. So that night after she knew he was asleep she grabed a lantern lit it and she was astonished to find Cupid in her bed. She touched his golden arrow though her love was strong before she had a even bigger yearn for him.. The lanterns light had known who Cupid was and wanted nothign more than to touch him so some oil splashed onto him and he woke up to see Psyche staring at him. He got up and he went to the balcony and started to fly away. She latched onto his leg and she begged him not to leave. He left of course telling her that she disobeyed him and therefore will never see him again.
So skipping further. She gets back at her sisters with help of West wind and North wind. (they died basically) She then searches the earth for her beloved (Cupid). Mean while. Cupid is being locked in his room at his mothers because his mother is just now finding out that they had an affair. She is furious and thus sends Mercury, the messenger God, to earth to send out the message from Venus saying that anyone who turns in Psyce will get a kiss from Venus herself. Soem were happy but some were not. Psyche is turned in and she is set to tasks that Venus thinks she would fail at doing so. First task:
To sort out beans and seeds into seperate pile of their own. the pile of mixture was from the floor to the ceiling. Once Psyche was alone int he room Venus left her in she starte dot cry. But ants had came to her rescue they had asked her what was wrong and Psyche explained and they helped her. When Venus returned she had thought she had bewitched some one to help to do it so she sent her to bed.
Second task: Was to get golden fleece from these deadly sheep. she was told how to do so from Pan the most ugliest of all Gods. but the most understanding of them all. She returns to Venus with more than a lap full. She is again sent to bed.
Third task: water from the most purest water from the most deadliest river at the top of a mountain. Jupiter, god of all gods, sends his bird to help and Venus was infuriated even more and sends her to bed yet again.
The last task: To go to the underworld and retreive a box of beauty from Proserpine. She has help from North wind on this and is off to the underworld. She gets the box and exits the underworld. But her curiosity got the better of her and she opens the box....
During her whole journey Cupid is starting to realize that Psyche wasnt and isnt to blame. He gets up and as his mothe ris entering he questions her anger. Then turns her anger onto herself, by bringing up Adonis. her lover. he died and she wishes nothing more than to keep that from Cupid, but she cant' and wont always beable to so she tells him that she was sent to the underworld to retreive a box of beauty only that she told Proserpine to fill it with a cloud of death instead. He rushes out of his room and off to meet with Psyche. All four winds had help him with much power and rush to get him to her. He had arrived just as the cloud dismerged from the box. With his wings he had forsed most the cloud back intot he box and them brushed the thin layer of cloud away from Psyche. Then with a kiss she came back to life.
They return to Olympus and Jupiter, Venus, Apollo and the four winds mother are all awaiting them. Jupiter turns to Venus and says that he is ashamed that she would let Jelousy fill her rather than love. And that to keep her own son from finding love. Turns to the four winds mother and thanks her. Then turns to Cupid and Psyche, looks at Cupid and says that maybe now he will be mroe cautious as to what couples he strikes with his arrows form now on from his new expirience. Then he gives Psyche nectar of immortalitie and she drinks. Thus glowing in immortalitie.
They have a feist and it ends with 8months later that Psyche and Cupis have a daughter and they name her Pleasure. As ive alreayd told you.
Through the whoel book i tended to have some connections in what and how Cupid, Psyche, Venus and some of the other characters i didnt get to mention, i felt a connection to them i felt liek i remember some time sof how i was liek that of how i was them. The book is a philosophic book on love. but it makes you think of your own story. It just makes you click. The roles change up a bit one part you will be Psyche (not looks but personality to a guy can read this and be Psyche) and the next you could be Cupid. It all depends what story you're thinking of. It is a book i would reccomend. and a Book that is truely a book you need to pay close attention to other wise you will know nothing about what is happening. Expecially since it IS a philosphy book.
Well thats all fro now sorry its so long,
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
Haha well i wont leave you hanging. Psyche was a beautiful girl. She was so beautiful that people even thought that SHE was the NEW Venus. Or even mistaked her as Venus. Cupid was a dumb-ass god who was not only immortal, but very handsome... Did i mention a mamas boy as well? Though he has a palace hidden through the trees in a mountain on earth he stayed at his moms and lets her treat him as though he'd never leave. 'Cause to most mothers, theres no girl on earth that will tend to their sons every waking need. :) Thus the reason why we have 40 year old virgins some times xD
Ok So back to whats happened. Psyche, because she was so beautiful every one would stop worshiping Venus and going to her temple that once Venus realized as to why no one came to her any more. She immeadiately started to hate Psyche. So infuriated she had sent Cupid to go and shoot one of his golden arrows into her and make her a fool and fall inlove with a tree or a wall. Though once he saw Psyche it was he who fell in love. Though being the god of love, he himself had never been in love. Though seeing many beautiful women before what had made Psyche so differant right? Well, who knows? All we know is that Cupid was in love and wanted Psyche all for him self. So he went to Apollo to have him tell Psyche's father that she would to be wed to him. Once Apollo hears that Cupid wants to marry Psyche he threatens Cupid he will tell his mother if he promises not to strike him with any of his arrows. Cupis had told him instead:
"I don't make deals like that. If you say a word to Venus, I will see to it that one of my arrows is in your heart until the end of eternity."
Ok to clear things up, non of the gods, goddesses or deities want an arrow gold nor lead from Cupid into them. So when Cupid threatens to do so with his arrows he will do so. Well Apollo does see to it, but twists the words around. When Psyches father comes back (i will mention now that Psyche and her family are royalty) and after a while and tells Psyche what Apollo had said he tells her that Apollo said that her fate was to marry a monster, Cupid had over heard this when he was outside of her room he almost went balistic, though stopped himself when he had realized that she was to still marry him and that Apollo had just twisted it in his own words. So he left to prepare every thing, behind his mothers back of course, but still went and prepared everything.
Though down on earth when the day came it was a sad sad day. No one wanted to know that Psyche was being married off to a monster. Cupid went and got things ready. Psyche started her long journey up the mountain to await her new husband. Once there she was in a meadow of grass and flowers. She had soon fallen asleep waiting for her husband. The next day as the sun sorrowly awoke and started to climb the sky. He none the less didn't liek the fact of Psyche marring a monster either and thought she was already dead. Though as he cmilbed the sky he saw Psyche asleep and he screamed her name and brightened up as bright as can be. Favonius, West wind had came on personal request for Cupid and had picked up Psyche from wherre she rested and had placed her ouside Cupids own personal palace gates. She was tended to by her every need by as she seemed it to be invisible servants. When inside she saw nothing, but a beautiful palace with rooms full of gold, jewels, fine silk gowns, and so on. She had wondered is her husband was truely a monster as Apollo as said, though Apollo was never to be known as a liar.
That day she has bathed roamed her new home and ate. That night she awaited her husband in bed.
When Cupid arrived she was asleep and the moon had given him much light to see her asleep. He was starting to have doubts, but seeing her face had changed that and all he wanted was her. And i think you guys should know what i mean by want. So he got into bed and the second she awoke the moon had right away been covered by clouds thanks to the other winds.
Im skipping farther into the story. Every day Cupid would leave before the crack of dawn so Psyche wouldn't see that she was married to him and Every day Psyche would wonder what/where her husband was. Then at night he'd return to her and... well... yeah ((xD))they'd talk until she'd pass out or until Cupid would leave. And every night she would ask why she wasn't allowed to see his face. Cupid was afraid she might not love him after she sees him. So he explained. Then one day his sisters come and visit though after Cupid warned her that they shouldnt. He kinda of, well, threatened her. By saying she was pregnate with his child and that if he so tells anythign about him he will be sure to it that her child will be born mortal. They come they ask questions she lies. They leave and plan a deveous plan. They come back and they trick her into looking at her husband. That night, though her sisters convinced her of the fact that her husband was a monster guised as a man. And that he was to kill her after she bore him a child. So that night after she knew he was asleep she grabed a lantern lit it and she was astonished to find Cupid in her bed. She touched his golden arrow though her love was strong before she had a even bigger yearn for him.. The lanterns light had known who Cupid was and wanted nothign more than to touch him so some oil splashed onto him and he woke up to see Psyche staring at him. He got up and he went to the balcony and started to fly away. She latched onto his leg and she begged him not to leave. He left of course telling her that she disobeyed him and therefore will never see him again.
So skipping further. She gets back at her sisters with help of West wind and North wind. (they died basically) She then searches the earth for her beloved (Cupid). Mean while. Cupid is being locked in his room at his mothers because his mother is just now finding out that they had an affair. She is furious and thus sends Mercury, the messenger God, to earth to send out the message from Venus saying that anyone who turns in Psyce will get a kiss from Venus herself. Soem were happy but some were not. Psyche is turned in and she is set to tasks that Venus thinks she would fail at doing so. First task:
To sort out beans and seeds into seperate pile of their own. the pile of mixture was from the floor to the ceiling. Once Psyche was alone int he room Venus left her in she starte dot cry. But ants had came to her rescue they had asked her what was wrong and Psyche explained and they helped her. When Venus returned she had thought she had bewitched some one to help to do it so she sent her to bed.
Second task: Was to get golden fleece from these deadly sheep. she was told how to do so from Pan the most ugliest of all Gods. but the most understanding of them all. She returns to Venus with more than a lap full. She is again sent to bed.
Third task: water from the most purest water from the most deadliest river at the top of a mountain. Jupiter, god of all gods, sends his bird to help and Venus was infuriated even more and sends her to bed yet again.
The last task: To go to the underworld and retreive a box of beauty from Proserpine. She has help from North wind on this and is off to the underworld. She gets the box and exits the underworld. But her curiosity got the better of her and she opens the box....
During her whole journey Cupid is starting to realize that Psyche wasnt and isnt to blame. He gets up and as his mothe ris entering he questions her anger. Then turns her anger onto herself, by bringing up Adonis. her lover. he died and she wishes nothing more than to keep that from Cupid, but she cant' and wont always beable to so she tells him that she was sent to the underworld to retreive a box of beauty only that she told Proserpine to fill it with a cloud of death instead. He rushes out of his room and off to meet with Psyche. All four winds had help him with much power and rush to get him to her. He had arrived just as the cloud dismerged from the box. With his wings he had forsed most the cloud back intot he box and them brushed the thin layer of cloud away from Psyche. Then with a kiss she came back to life.
They return to Olympus and Jupiter, Venus, Apollo and the four winds mother are all awaiting them. Jupiter turns to Venus and says that he is ashamed that she would let Jelousy fill her rather than love. And that to keep her own son from finding love. Turns to the four winds mother and thanks her. Then turns to Cupid and Psyche, looks at Cupid and says that maybe now he will be mroe cautious as to what couples he strikes with his arrows form now on from his new expirience. Then he gives Psyche nectar of immortalitie and she drinks. Thus glowing in immortalitie.
They have a feist and it ends with 8months later that Psyche and Cupis have a daughter and they name her Pleasure. As ive alreayd told you.
Through the whoel book i tended to have some connections in what and how Cupid, Psyche, Venus and some of the other characters i didnt get to mention, i felt a connection to them i felt liek i remember some time sof how i was liek that of how i was them. The book is a philosophic book on love. but it makes you think of your own story. It just makes you click. The roles change up a bit one part you will be Psyche (not looks but personality to a guy can read this and be Psyche) and the next you could be Cupid. It all depends what story you're thinking of. It is a book i would reccomend. and a Book that is truely a book you need to pay close attention to other wise you will know nothing about what is happening. Expecially since it IS a philosphy book.
Well thats all fro now sorry its so long,
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
23.9.10
What i mean when i say...
What he doesnt realize is that almost every day i say i love you to him.. or how much i like him... Except i don't say it in literate terms...
When i hug him im saying, "Mmm, im all yours"
When i talk to him in between breathes i'm really saying, "Love me please?"
When i hug him good-bye im saying, "Never let me go"
When i say good-bye im saying, "I love you"
When i think about him i say those things over and over in my head as we do the gestures...
When i look at him im saying, "Notice me?"
When i smile im saying, "Call me beautiful."
When i see him and he doesnt see me im saying, "Turn around."
When i am all alone and sad, i know that if he were there he'd hug me and make me feel so much better...
When i know he's with her im saying, "Please text me and say you want me."
When i listen as he talks about her im saying, "Please stop torturing me."
When i talk to my friends about him im saying, "Tell me things get better?"
When i text him im saying, "Can't we just be more than friends already?"
When i want to be with him i just think of the day that is to come and hope it will be a great day...
When i am with him im always saying, "Love me, Kiss me, Want me, Hold me... My life is yours if you just let me in."
I know what you're thinking... No im not obsessed. Just in love. One guy. Thats all it took. Is one guy to actually proove to me that he's differant. That he can treat a girl the way she needs to be treated. That he is a man, yes i said a man. He isn't some one that would freak out over things you told him he listens and he understands. Hes differant most deffinately truely differant and i think i love him. I think i truely do.
Now if only i can figure out if i do.
Thats all,
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
When i hug him im saying, "Mmm, im all yours"
When i talk to him in between breathes i'm really saying, "Love me please?"
When i hug him good-bye im saying, "Never let me go"
When i say good-bye im saying, "I love you"
When i think about him i say those things over and over in my head as we do the gestures...
When i look at him im saying, "Notice me?"
When i smile im saying, "Call me beautiful."
When i see him and he doesnt see me im saying, "Turn around."
When i am all alone and sad, i know that if he were there he'd hug me and make me feel so much better...
When i know he's with her im saying, "Please text me and say you want me."
When i listen as he talks about her im saying, "Please stop torturing me."
When i talk to my friends about him im saying, "Tell me things get better?"
When i text him im saying, "Can't we just be more than friends already?"
When i want to be with him i just think of the day that is to come and hope it will be a great day...
When i am with him im always saying, "Love me, Kiss me, Want me, Hold me... My life is yours if you just let me in."
I know what you're thinking... No im not obsessed. Just in love. One guy. Thats all it took. Is one guy to actually proove to me that he's differant. That he can treat a girl the way she needs to be treated. That he is a man, yes i said a man. He isn't some one that would freak out over things you told him he listens and he understands. Hes differant most deffinately truely differant and i think i love him. I think i truely do.
Now if only i can figure out if i do.
Thats all,
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
22.9.10
A letter to my love
Dear... You know who you are,
Don't stop you know you love me, baby fight for this love. You only get one shot,
baby, im so in love. Don't stop some people think im insane, for this love. We gotta fight, but i just think im free in love, i didn't know how much to love ya. Theres so many ways to love ya. Don't stop. Some guys know all the right things to say. Ima fight for this love, you only get one shot, baby, im so in love. Don't stop, instead of talking let me demonstrate we gotta fight, yeah... We bring the stars out, we gotta fight for this love. We gotta fight. Lets have a toast, a celebration, get a glass out and we can do this until we pass out. I wake up everyday is a daydream, yeah, im in charge now! Everything in my life aint what it seems, im a star. Just to go back to sleep. Yeah not enough loving, but im in too deep. Sitting there singing like... Everybody says that i've gotta get a grip, but i let sanity give me the slip. we gotta fight, yeah, we bring the stars out. You got me like, baby, you got me screaming for more, don't stop all night. Im a little bit lost without you and i was like, baby i didnt know how much i love ya! Theres so many ways to love ya! Don't stop, you know you love me, baby, can you hear me tonight? Theres so many ways to love ya, can't you hear me? Fight. Fight for this love, we gotta fight, baby…
Hopefully this makes sence to people... if not then i dont care cause it makes sence to me...
Thats it for now,
Your (sad) Wacky (and miserable) Little Writer,
Star :(
Don't stop you know you love me, baby fight for this love. You only get one shot,
baby, im so in love. Don't stop some people think im insane, for this love. We gotta fight, but i just think im free in love, i didn't know how much to love ya. Theres so many ways to love ya. Don't stop. Some guys know all the right things to say. Ima fight for this love, you only get one shot, baby, im so in love. Don't stop, instead of talking let me demonstrate we gotta fight, yeah... We bring the stars out, we gotta fight for this love. We gotta fight. Lets have a toast, a celebration, get a glass out and we can do this until we pass out. I wake up everyday is a daydream, yeah, im in charge now! Everything in my life aint what it seems, im a star. Just to go back to sleep. Yeah not enough loving, but im in too deep. Sitting there singing like... Everybody says that i've gotta get a grip, but i let sanity give me the slip. we gotta fight, yeah, we bring the stars out. You got me like, baby, you got me screaming for more, don't stop all night. Im a little bit lost without you and i was like, baby i didnt know how much i love ya! Theres so many ways to love ya! Don't stop, you know you love me, baby, can you hear me tonight? Theres so many ways to love ya, can't you hear me? Fight. Fight for this love, we gotta fight, baby…
Hopefully this makes sence to people... if not then i dont care cause it makes sence to me...
Thats it for now,
Your (sad) Wacky (and miserable) Little Writer,
Star :(
21.9.10
Love?
What is love? Why do we feel it? Why do we need it? Most of all why is it the main cause of some ones pain?
Have you ever wondered? Wondered why loving some one can hurt you so bad when they don't love you back, or why when you fall in love and the other doesn't respond you come out with nothing more than a broken heart? Or how love is the leading cause of a broken heart? **sigh** these are questions that run through my mind... Love... Why? Why do we need it? Why do we Feel it? Why?
I have my own philosophy. We love because it makes us feel good. We try to find love because we are on a constant journy to find the one we want to be with for the rest of our lives. We fall in love regularly because each time we fall in love and come out with a broekn heart we just know that they weren't the one, or weren't the one at the time. They could be, but it just so happens that they just weren't the one for you quite yet.
We always say time heals all wounds. Though we realize time heals most wounds and that not all wounds can be healed by time. We look for love to heal those wounds that time couldn't.
Over time a broken heart can be replenished by a new one full of life with love to be found hidden deep. Though the old broken heart is still there just burried deep beneath the new one. This heart surfaces each time love ruins the new one, thus creating a chain reaction.
I know what you're thinking. This has nothing to do with the concept of Love that this is a complete random rant about nothing... Well how do you know? Love can be the exact opposite. We all could very much be living in nothing but a dream full of loneliness and death.
Love can cause most deaths we know of...
You can find love every where now an days. You find them in those families that rarely fight and in those that fight all the time. We see it in the faces of our peers (in which makes me sad) we see it in our friends, and we see it deep within our selves.
We fall in love fast because we're in a rush to find the one we want to live with forever. Thats also another reason why we fall in love at such a young age. Its (in my terms) one of the most leading causes in depression in youth. When a child in neglected of love from their family and even the peers they love as a family or more than friends. When neglected of love we can cause our selves to fall in a deep depression.
My main treason of this subject is that Love? Why do we seek it, feel it, need it? Why?
Well before i over think this and start to cry (cause im suffering from deep depression cause by "love") Thats all for now and i hope you keep looking for my updates.
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :'(
Have you ever wondered? Wondered why loving some one can hurt you so bad when they don't love you back, or why when you fall in love and the other doesn't respond you come out with nothing more than a broken heart? Or how love is the leading cause of a broken heart? **sigh** these are questions that run through my mind... Love... Why? Why do we need it? Why do we Feel it? Why?
I have my own philosophy. We love because it makes us feel good. We try to find love because we are on a constant journy to find the one we want to be with for the rest of our lives. We fall in love regularly because each time we fall in love and come out with a broekn heart we just know that they weren't the one, or weren't the one at the time. They could be, but it just so happens that they just weren't the one for you quite yet.
We always say time heals all wounds. Though we realize time heals most wounds and that not all wounds can be healed by time. We look for love to heal those wounds that time couldn't.
Over time a broken heart can be replenished by a new one full of life with love to be found hidden deep. Though the old broken heart is still there just burried deep beneath the new one. This heart surfaces each time love ruins the new one, thus creating a chain reaction.
I know what you're thinking. This has nothing to do with the concept of Love that this is a complete random rant about nothing... Well how do you know? Love can be the exact opposite. We all could very much be living in nothing but a dream full of loneliness and death.
Love can cause most deaths we know of...
You can find love every where now an days. You find them in those families that rarely fight and in those that fight all the time. We see it in the faces of our peers (in which makes me sad) we see it in our friends, and we see it deep within our selves.
We fall in love fast because we're in a rush to find the one we want to live with forever. Thats also another reason why we fall in love at such a young age. Its (in my terms) one of the most leading causes in depression in youth. When a child in neglected of love from their family and even the peers they love as a family or more than friends. When neglected of love we can cause our selves to fall in a deep depression.
My main treason of this subject is that Love? Why do we seek it, feel it, need it? Why?
Well before i over think this and start to cry (cause im suffering from deep depression cause by "love") Thats all for now and i hope you keep looking for my updates.
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :'(
6.9.10
SICK
Ok the only upside of being sick is that i can be lazy all i want and not get shit for it.
now the down sides of being sick is, though as much as i WANT to go out and have fun i also dont want to get any of my friends sick. Im borred all the time. Im alone... ALL THE TIME (though thats nothing new, but its sucks when you have no one around to help you when your sick) i get agitated faster. I have to re-memorize stuff...
Im sick... every one has plans already so they cant come over and keep me company..
**sigh** im so sickkkk
Ye sim rambling xDD
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
now the down sides of being sick is, though as much as i WANT to go out and have fun i also dont want to get any of my friends sick. Im borred all the time. Im alone... ALL THE TIME (though thats nothing new, but its sucks when you have no one around to help you when your sick) i get agitated faster. I have to re-memorize stuff...
Im sick... every one has plans already so they cant come over and keep me company..
**sigh** im so sickkkk
Ye sim rambling xDD
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
Good News vs. Bad News
(currently listening to No Booty Calls - by Kelly)
Ok so, i have good news (thats a long) and bad news (thats long)
So lets see what shoudl i tell first :// hmm... Head for good tails for bad
**flips coin**
Good news it is...
Good news, its almost tuesday and i can go to school and see friends (and my guy) again. Also i have McDonalds :D...
Im having a spa pampering day today also... maybe.
All weekend i could sitt back and relax sice i was sick and dont really HAVE to do anything.
Bad news... IM SICK.... No one has an open weekend to let me come and hang out with them. Im sick so i feel compelled to WANT attention from my friends... "my guy" confuses the living hell outta me and im SICK!!!!!
So is it tuesday yet????
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
Ok so, i have good news (thats a long) and bad news (thats long)
So lets see what shoudl i tell first :// hmm... Head for good tails for bad
**flips coin**
Good news it is...
Good news, its almost tuesday and i can go to school and see friends (and my guy) again. Also i have McDonalds :D...
Im having a spa pampering day today also... maybe.
All weekend i could sitt back and relax sice i was sick and dont really HAVE to do anything.
Bad news... IM SICK.... No one has an open weekend to let me come and hang out with them. Im sick so i feel compelled to WANT attention from my friends... "my guy" confuses the living hell outta me and im SICK!!!!!
So is it tuesday yet????
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star :)
Just a rant; Is it bad...?
Is it bad the the only guy i want to be with doesnt want a gf right now. Or the fact that he told me he wouldnt flirt or he wouldnt go out with anyone... ((i dont knwo if he meant that because he waned to get back with me))... But then he flirts with me and i have a automatic reacon to it all the time to flirt back...
Is it bad that the only guy i want to be with doesnt want a gf right now?
Is it bad that i might have really strong feelings for this guy?
Is it bad that we can go back to being friends as if nothing happened between us?
Is it bad that i feel comfortable being his friend and girlffriend at the same time?
I mean friendship should come first right?
Is it bad that when i fall i fall hard and half the time the guy i fall for doesnt catch me...?
What really sucks is that i fell hard for this guy, but he caught me... then set me on the ground and walked into the friend circle.
Can anyone THAT ISNT MY SISTER** help me?
(**= read the ps to know what i mean by this)
I mean this guy is really sweet, hes a gentleman, and when im-- erm, when i WAS alone with him he showed me his soft side. He's uberly hott!!! When we're around friends he makes me smile, when its just us he makes me smile. When its just plain me and hes on my mind... He makes me smile (and lately hes always on my mind). Though, dont get me wrong, he does have flaws. Though they're flaws that i like that the other girl didnt. I like this guy for who he is and in return i hope he likes me for who i am.
Though one of his flaws are a completely demented and really scary (to others) i embrace them. Mainly cause demented things are really cool to watch and hear from some one.
This guy has got me strastruck...
I dont know what to do...
I mean i want him to know, even if he already knows, that i am still here waiting for him. And only him. He's really the only guy i like right now. The only guy i wish i was with... The only guy thats on my mind 24/7 that i like.
UGH! Im not obsessed, im not anything that you would think i am... I just really liek this guy... I have liked this guy since the 2nd semester of my 9th grade year.
Granted, yes, he is a year older than me and i barely knew him but i still liked him... Know i know a lot about him and i wish he knew what i was feeling right now... besides the feeling of being sick, i mean how i feel about him.
Anyway just comment caus ei really need your help AS LONG AS YOUR NOT MY SISTER, BROTHER, DAD, AUNT, UNCLE, OR EVEN COUSINS**!!!! the onyl acceptions i will take help from is MAYBE my sister in law, and friends or even the guy himself... ahem assuming he even reads this post....
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star ://
Ps. ** What i mean by this the first time is that my sister makes it out that all im concerned for is boys boys boys. Im not. I actually care for my grades wheather or not i have friends and what im going to be doing after high school. This problem im having just pops up all the time. I'm still focused in school i still do my work and i still hang out with my friends. Garunteeing that the guy im talking about IS apart of my friend group...
And the second ** i put becaus ei listed all of those certain people is;
A. i just explained why i dont want my sister to comment
B. My oldest brother would be asking me for questions about this guy and then be a total dick and tell me that ((because of his color)) that hes not good for me
C. my Aunts i would completely die if they even read this and would start rambling on about what i dont want to hear
D. my uncles... idk i just dont want advice form ym uncles
E. my cousins... Welll idk i just REALLY dont want help from any family.
The only people i will accept help from is My sister in law(Heaven) because shes liek a sister but not related related. Plus she doesnt freak out as if she was my sister that thinks im overly concerned about guys. Plus she knows what guy im talkign about
And my friends because they know the particial situation and basically know the guy.
and the guy himself well not that he would read this but by some magical lehpricaun should he read this it'd be a lot fo help if he cleared thinsg up with me...
Is it bad that the only guy i want to be with doesnt want a gf right now?
Is it bad that i might have really strong feelings for this guy?
Is it bad that we can go back to being friends as if nothing happened between us?
Is it bad that i feel comfortable being his friend and girlffriend at the same time?
I mean friendship should come first right?
Is it bad that when i fall i fall hard and half the time the guy i fall for doesnt catch me...?
What really sucks is that i fell hard for this guy, but he caught me... then set me on the ground and walked into the friend circle.
Can anyone THAT ISNT MY SISTER** help me?
(**= read the ps to know what i mean by this)
I mean this guy is really sweet, hes a gentleman, and when im-- erm, when i WAS alone with him he showed me his soft side. He's uberly hott!!! When we're around friends he makes me smile, when its just us he makes me smile. When its just plain me and hes on my mind... He makes me smile (and lately hes always on my mind). Though, dont get me wrong, he does have flaws. Though they're flaws that i like that the other girl didnt. I like this guy for who he is and in return i hope he likes me for who i am.
Though one of his flaws are a completely demented and really scary (to others) i embrace them. Mainly cause demented things are really cool to watch and hear from some one.
This guy has got me strastruck...
I dont know what to do...
I mean i want him to know, even if he already knows, that i am still here waiting for him. And only him. He's really the only guy i like right now. The only guy i wish i was with... The only guy thats on my mind 24/7 that i like.
UGH! Im not obsessed, im not anything that you would think i am... I just really liek this guy... I have liked this guy since the 2nd semester of my 9th grade year.
Granted, yes, he is a year older than me and i barely knew him but i still liked him... Know i know a lot about him and i wish he knew what i was feeling right now... besides the feeling of being sick, i mean how i feel about him.
Anyway just comment caus ei really need your help AS LONG AS YOUR NOT MY SISTER, BROTHER, DAD, AUNT, UNCLE, OR EVEN COUSINS**!!!! the onyl acceptions i will take help from is MAYBE my sister in law, and friends or even the guy himself... ahem assuming he even reads this post....
Your Wacky Little Writer,
Star ://
Ps. ** What i mean by this the first time is that my sister makes it out that all im concerned for is boys boys boys. Im not. I actually care for my grades wheather or not i have friends and what im going to be doing after high school. This problem im having just pops up all the time. I'm still focused in school i still do my work and i still hang out with my friends. Garunteeing that the guy im talking about IS apart of my friend group...
And the second ** i put becaus ei listed all of those certain people is;
A. i just explained why i dont want my sister to comment
B. My oldest brother would be asking me for questions about this guy and then be a total dick and tell me that ((because of his color)) that hes not good for me
C. my Aunts i would completely die if they even read this and would start rambling on about what i dont want to hear
D. my uncles... idk i just dont want advice form ym uncles
E. my cousins... Welll idk i just REALLY dont want help from any family.
The only people i will accept help from is My sister in law(Heaven) because shes liek a sister but not related related. Plus she doesnt freak out as if she was my sister that thinks im overly concerned about guys. Plus she knows what guy im talkign about
And my friends because they know the particial situation and basically know the guy.
and the guy himself well not that he would read this but by some magical lehpricaun should he read this it'd be a lot fo help if he cleared thinsg up with me...
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